Better Dating Through Technology

by The Fullerenes

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Dr. Mindflip This album changed the way I looked at 'free' music on the internet many years ago - giving me an invigorated sense of hope and excitement about the quality of songwriting out there.
An overwhelmingly funny, sad, energetic and smart collection of nerdy, nuts rock music - full of nostalgia and high-school alienation. The lyrics are amazing throughout - have a read of World Wide Tag or Big Mistake. One of my favourite albums ever, I never grow tired of it. Favorite track: World Wide Tag.
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about

The Fullerenes were:
Ryan Arnholt
Steve Bekkala
Clint Hoagland
Kevin Krzyzanski
Bob Peplinski
Craig Peters

credits

released June 1, 2000

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The Fullerenes Ann Arbor, Michigan

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Track Name: World Wide Tag
got caught passing notes
to a certain girl that i didn't know
the class went outside
but i, of course, stayed behind
three o clock came
and i felt a hand in mine
and the hand belonged
to a certain girl i didn't know

"it's friday," she said with a squeeze
"no tagbacks you'll just have to wait
all weekend and try again next week
this way you'll be thinkin' 'bout me."

i think she's it
she thinks i'm it

one last day of class
one more hour to go
one more book to sign
something funny about the way
she looked across at me
while i wrote in hers so first
i looked to see
what she wrote in mine

"if you go off to college
we'll still stay together
someday you'll come home
and i'll love you forever
i'll call you
you'll call me
if you leave a message
i'll get back to you"

now i'm pressing send for notes
that she doesn't even read
she's moving forward
better dating through technology

now i've been tagged forever
she's never gonna be around
i was waiting for the desktop sound
but the desktop sound never came

empty inbox, dial tone
clinkin' jungle gym chain
a lonely sound
that's a lonely sound
Track Name: Little Fits
oh, if it were up to me
there's one place i would be
and that's anywhere but here
Just call me one
unlucky stiff
as a board
that's bored to tears

I know just what you're going to say
you say it anyway
all eloquence
and no gist
now it's just your beer and me
and if you don't want us to leave
you better quit bitching
right now

you read a couple books
and you talk a lot of shit
but you're twenty one years old
and you're still sporting Hello Kitty
now your secret's out
nothing that some duct tape
couldn't fix

don't throw your pretty little fits
don't bother talking with a pout
if they're listening to you
then they're feeling bad for me
when you started talking
the party started walking out

please tell me your opinion
your knowledge is comprehensive
please dress me i don't know how

oh if it were up to you
i think i know what you'd do
as long and loud as you can
you're a walking pain in the brainpan
a profane obscenity
a crime against humanity

kisses talk from mouth to mouth
everybody wants you out
you're the one we're gonna miss
but only if you don't come back
you got your precious little facts
so you better start twistin'
right now

i can almost see the rumors getting started
what goes in is coming out
you dumb it down
you sink a little lower

and we realize
very little fits
inside a pretty little head
like yours
Track Name: Secretary Of State
i try to word it out
how can i ask this
beautiful girl out
i got no papers so i can not drive

you say i can not
touch that dress
'til i pass that test
but my hearts in unrest

because the secretary of state
has it out for me

all my friends
got their license in the 10th grade
social classes are decided
based on asses at the
secretary of state
she won't go out with me
'til i get my driving degree

it's me versus everybody
and she says she can't date a nobody

would she say yes?
i don't know
but one thing's gotta go:
the secretary of state

sometimes it's hard
facing life when you can't drive
i needed 47 on the test
but i pulled a 45
ugly guy's taking passes at my woman
cuz he's got a car
nice guys finish last with a huffy
i'll never get far

first base is so far away
i'll pass that test someday

right on red
i don't know
but one thing is stopping my flow
Track Name: Abigail
i know from broken hearts
abigail
where you been going
where've you been?

if i heard it all
knew everything
how much longer would you be my baby then?

i've got a feeling that i'm not the only one
and it isn't just me that gets the benefits
of wrongs you've done

oh someone doesn't know
about the rules of war
and even less what to do about peace
i'm a little bit smaller
than i was before
so i guess you took away a piece of me

abigail, you've been wasting my time
i'm not gonna share you with another guy
and i hope there's only one girl in the world
like abigail

you got weak betting game
you doubled down
you couldn't keep steady
now you're spread too thin
if it's boys-vs-girls
now it's two-on-one
oh abigail, don't you know anything?

you can tell a little lie
but not a little truth
and there isn't much space
between a loose lip
and a loose tooth

now there's one more thing i would like
i'd like to see you give it one more try
try to come up with one more perfect lie
that bundles and excuses all the other lies

'i loved you both, at the same time'

it won't take you long
to find yourself another fool
as for your two-timing
i'm taking out the two

(and putting bitch into obituary)

i know another sucker
gets born every day
they gather like flies
around a pheromone spray
but i hope there's only one girl in the world
like abigail
Track Name: Madeleine
if i could take back all the things i said
i know i'd just screw it up all over again

the last thing i said has been in the air
too long
and that's lended it
an importance i never intended
now my meaning is as dead as the air
so we scrutinize each other in silence
losing you with every breath

madeleine
i must have been
crazy to think i could say
what i want to
madeleine
i don't think
you knew what i was saying
when i stopped talking
i had it all worked out in my head
and now i wonder where it all went
dropped the ball again

now all our friends
left us alone again
they took their conversation with them
i turn the radio up too loud
you turn it down
and the fireworks go off in my head
you watch and you patiently wait
as i calculate the distance between us
hyperconscious of the placement of hands

i'm rememberin'
seeing you in
the flicker of a tv screen
i'm rememberin'
seeing you in
the glow of a domelight

you whisper that you want me to stay
i whisper that i'd better go
cause what if something happened between us?
god, what if nothing did?
Track Name: Equations
so you've got equations
and you say you've been at it
all night thinking about
thermodynamics
we should all go out
and play in the traffic
because the world's total love
is finite and static

who ever gets what they deserve?
a girl for every boy
and a boy for every girl

i said the first law doesn't apply
to physical attractions
baby so tell me how come
we always hesitate
and never take action when
both parties benefit
from every transaction?

you said:
'enough just isn't enough'
now you're taking the fifth
and i'm taking the short bus
i go out with you and return diminished
i haven't begun
you say i'm already finished

so you've got equations
and you've done all the math
but you're thinking too hard
you're too clever by half
this doesn't have to be a brainteaser drama
baby you know it's just simple economics
Track Name: Anna
all the words and notes you wrote
punk rock girl
distract me like no other
your new conversation piece
who's kissing who
you know i'm gonna see you

you dialed in just like me
to address another question
my angel gagged and tied
responds with broken hearted diction

i've been surfin'
on infoseek and lycos
doin searches
for publicity photos
running from the sun didn't get you very far
but in a more perfect world you'd be a really big star

anna
anna
i keep hearing your voice
i don't know where you are
anna
oh no
you're rocking too soft
i'm crushing too hard
anna anna that's her name
you spell it backwards it's spelled the same
a-na-na-na-na-na

awake from paid programming dreams
look at me with certain groggy styles
mister tell me if i'm wrong
is that lip gloss on that doggy smile

mapquest lost your last address
webpage ain't seen updates in a while
we learned our geography
from minnesota to long island

i've been pleading
no more gothic sex visions
sick of reading
pop culture vivisections
needy teens go out and make noise
boys singing 'bout girls
girls singing 'bout boys

it's night
come out
wherever you are
anna rockstar
silently
in the back of my mind
one summer night
Track Name: Satan Is A Baby (That Lives In The Sun)
i got no mouth but i must scream
and poe himself never felt the horror i'm seeing
on my tv... is it me?
or are strange forces at work underground?

there's a purple guy up on the screen
he's dancing around
his favorites things are:
his handbag
and great big hugs
tinky winky love
i would not want tinky winky love

satan is a baby that lives in the sun
satan is a baby that lives in the sun

a call goes out to an astroturf hut
shooting stars from a windmill
strange men feel it all in their guts
it's us they see
on their tummy tvs
how will i know when they're watching me?

an unhappy man in candyland
does he work for them
or his he starting a new-new world order
where we clean their rooms
and we live in vacuums
we roll our eyes at the happy tunes

satan is a baby that lives in the sun
satan is a baby that lives in the sun
and if that baby gets his way
we'll have new ways to communicate

they hatch their evil plans and then they do it again
do it again
do it again
they never go to bed on time
they get up and they do it again
do it again
they do it again
the british invasion bred a nation of halfwits
what do bunny rabbits have to do with it?

what i do know is:
they love kids
and kids love them
and if kids love them
i fear the kids
so i asked my teacher and my teacher said
satan is a baby that lives in the sun
Track Name: GEO
i wish she'd say
she likes my car
she's gonna know
it sucks by far
little geo
won't get me rollin to the bar
won't go pasty fifty
won't get very far
my little geo

i got it wholesale from my folks
i raced a soapbox and got smoked
be nice and please keep your little
comments to yourself

i wish i'd bought
with a little more thought
i was thinkin it was pure gold
but i can see now that it's not
little geo don't represent
in the express lane or in the snow
roll em up shut it down
write it up sell it off
geo's gotta go

50 on the freeway
40 in the city
15 quarts of castrol monthly
you know that that's shittacious
engine goblins gnawin holes in my geo

pull up get out
i'm parked by the road
she sees my car
trimmed in turquoise and gold
bondo at each seam
the upholstery smells of mold
she says its nifty
and now that car is sold
her little geo
Track Name: Blizzard
hey
everybody
feelin' down cuz it's snowy an cold?
the fullerenes are here
we're gonna talk about a few things you can do in a blizzard

(brr it's cold)
quit complainin
there's no school today
get bundled up tight
put on your mittens and boots
put your snow pants on
and go shoop shoop shoop shoop
get your butt out there
this is packing snow
we'll keep it clean in the snowball fight
then we'll get down and dirty when we're back inside

it don't even matter
if the ground's all white
we can dance all night
without goin' outside
i can think of one or two things
you and i can do in a blizzard

brr it's cold out there
we're getting pretty chilly in our scarves and sweaters
but it makes the swiss miss just that much better
that's right i'm talking about cocoa
with tiny little marshmallows
later on we can lie around the house
we can hold each other close
while the snow comes whispering down down down
down down down down

i'm a snowman
and you can be my snowgirl
and when the springtime comes
i'll stop the world and melt with you

baby the temperature's droppin

we'll make a snowfort that's built for two
we'll cuddle up inside just me and you
Track Name: Speed Wayne!
here's a song that may ease your mind
if you need to get back from lunch on time
if you need a good fast burger
let me introduce you to my coworker

on old 21 there's a place to go
on lapeer rd everybody knows
the kids are tellin' their mothers
that some pattyflippers are better than others

any size of meal any time of day
whatever you want you can have it your way
way more than your brother can eat
half the wait and double the meat
speed wayne

you check for pink before wolfing it down
hey these patties are an even brown
tell your kid sister not to fret
this grub is as good as it gets

the little league bus pulls in from the rain
now all the dads are here to complain
wayne says
pray for death
speed wayne
Track Name: Rosemary's Baby
are you the one that
owes explanations
ask me your questions
even though it's tough to fill in the blanks

am i gonna match you word for word
across my heart and down on the page oh baby
are you gonna keep me guessin forever
why why why do make me wait

i wanna be rosemary's baby
rosemary i can't seem to get it across to you

read all about it
on every newsstand
some guy got hanged man
erased the shade out of his arms and his legs

midwestern think tanks shrink from
any puzzle you're putting out i think you're
really getting pretty obscure as of lately
you're loud and clear to me but they don't know what you're talking about

strategies for playing bridge
are these pictures different and in what ways
art clipping tips and filling white space
i'm working on you and you're working on the fun page
saggitarius pencil me in
because i heard about a snowstorm on the day of your birth
i'm not a devil child, just a 4-letter word
for a boy in a jumble
in the middle of a word search

rosemary
i wanna be the guy that takes the white out of your crossword
Track Name: Gravitational Pull
picture a sheet, a big big rubber sheet
the earth's in the middle
everybody's on top
thus the earth can influence the way we drop

they think they're pretty great
they think their theory's something special
electromagnetism, the strong force and the weak
but the single most famous force is the one that's not

don't worry
we won't shoot off into space
don't worry
i asked you to stay
but your mass made you weight
all i need is the air that i breathe
and it's stuck to the world
via earth's gravitational pull

9.8 meters/second squared
is the rate of gravity's acceleration
and that's true from the blue whale to rickettsia
(rickettsia is the world's smallest living organism)
on my TI-85 i did a foot-conversion calculation
got 32.152166
(6666667)

gravity's action is proportional to mass
but its counterpart inertia
is proportional to mass, too
the rate is a constant
and we can see that clearly
and since its cause is geometric
it's never going to stop
so you never have to wonder if people will shoot off
into space
like jobeth williams
and timothy leary
Track Name: Andrea
when i was only a freshman in college
i met this girl at a friend's place
we walked in a group to a party
she was boppin' to a song
i can't recall
when i asked my friend adam
if he thought i should ask her to dance what he said
guess it couldn't have been too good
because i told her our home was bone instead

wanted to ask all kinds of questions
i didn't know how
i kept forgetting her first name
but i remember it now
it's andrea
andrea

she thinks she's old because she's seven weeks older than me
she thinks it's cold outside when it's sixty five degrees
she listens to the oldies station she's everybody's mom
and every little thing i learn about her is everything i want

there's only one girl that could make me brave enough
to talk to the one girl that makes me brave enough
to talk to the one girl that makes me brave

andrea you're too cold
andrea i'm too warm
i don't mind - turn the heat up
if you don't mind i'll turn the fan on

i'm so glad you love me
'cause i'm in love with you too
we can drink root beer floats and watch movies
together we can suffer through grad school
i mean have fun through grad school
i mean have fun forever

andrea

i've got an important question for you
Track Name: Mickey('s Got a Hold On Me)
i've got a friend
mickey is his name
he takes me out at night
he takes all the blame

he makes me say all the wrong things
and he makes me do what i don't want to
but i know i know i know
he's better than reality
so the choice is clear as you can see

he's got a hold on me

mickey's got a hold on me
'this sense of immortality
is temporary' says
this half-full bottle now in front of me
perception is the next to go
with him he brings my self esteem
but he'll be back around again
when i get more inside of me

i don't know what the label shows
but mickey's all the proof that i need
and it doesn't take a genius to figure out
that mickey's got a hold on me

i went out just the other night
i got drunk and i got in a fight
mickey and me, we make a good team
i love him
and he comes in a bottle

he's got a hold on me

mickey's got a hold on me
another night spent lonely
drinking til my 40's dry
thinking about the sentimental side
of me my nonexistent tapestry
is hindering my game and chemistry
my roommate sucks
my tape is duct
i owe my best friend forty bucks
Track Name: Big Mistake
do you feel the need to talk
to fill up space
just run your mouth
if i had anything to say
i would have already

it's too late
you tried too hard
we went too far
don't talk
i couldn't even answer if you asked
where we are
where reach exceeds grasp
i can't relax
around you anymore

i didn't ask you for this
i don't believe in second chances
every kiss is a kiss goodbye

it's too late you tried too hard
we went too far
goodbye
we can't say we didn't try

so please
don't come around here anymore
i can't relax
around you anymore
big, big mistake
i can't relax